Tea for pondering

You know, it's those birthdays with a zero on the end that make me ponder....to really THINK about my life.....
to wonder if.........

If I am doing enough with my life......

If what I am doing really matters....to anybody......

If I am living on purpose or simply existing........

I have one of those birthdays coming up and for weeks, I have been thinking and soul searching.....looking here and there...seeing if there are things I need to rearrange in my life..  it is not a midlife crisis...not nearly that dramatic.  as I get older I have become more mellow...but life touches me more deeply..much more deeply and profoundly than I realized...until now.....

I know I am not going to be on this earth an unlimited amount of years....I still have a lot of them left but I am more aware of making my life count and making a difference.....of leaving a legacy.......

So for this week's tablescape, it is just me.....and my sweet ladyhead vase and a cup of tea...
.and as always, flowers..

I am gathering my thoughts and my inspiration and my prayers to get ready for another year or decade..and making decisions that will make my life more meaningful...to God, to myself and to the ones I love...

I will be joining in with these fun parties...come visit....

Let's Dish

Tablescape Thursday

Simple and Sweet Fridays 

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.

Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.

For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body.

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.

Put away from you a deceitful mouth
And put devious speech far from you.

Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.

Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established



Thank you for visiting here today..my hope for you is that the path of your life continues to shine brighter and brighter.......

Bloom Where you Are Planted..

The daylily watch is really beginning....  I am just in love with these flowers.  it speaks to me of my heritage and my destiny.  I stood by both of my grandmothers and looked at these flowers..I  stood by both of my parents and looked at them also...now I stand by all  of my children and look at these flowers, Betsy and Jon...now I am going to stand by my grandsons this year and look at them.....I am the third generation of flower growers so far. and there are 2 more after me..  I am sure the women before my Grandmothers loved flowers too.  it is just in my blood (line)..and I intend to pass it on...my son Jon is already proving to be quite the gardener..I am so happy to see him enjoying it......he is really talented...and my daughter's sons and husband are gardeners for sure...wow..there really is something to this bloodline thing...my goal is passing on the good and getting rid of the bad....kinda like cultivating the flowers and pulling up the weeds..

Enjoy with me this morning's pictures...get out and find some flowers to look at up close..they are just beautiful..

my brother gave this to me, so it is 'my Dana' when I look at it.

even Maggie and Bo like them

Mi

looking for rain

beginning of a dream of a patio surrounded by gardenias

Mama's seedling

anticipating open lilies

Miss Huff's first blooms

Thank you for looking at the daylilies with me this morning....I never get tired of the beauty of flowers and sharing them with you....wonder if I can find some more dirt to make another flowerbed in........until next time..

Time goes fast

There are many faces to the best decision I ever made..sometimes it takes a lot of years to gain some wisdom for life choices..When I was in my 40's I came to realize just that....these were my choices and I had the responsibility to make good and wise ones...No one else to blame but myself....I guess you can call that freedom to choose....

Godly man

Looking back, I made a very good choice.to marry this man....and I have never regretted it...seeing the joy on his face just reaffirms that we are good for one another...

Poppy

Fourteen years ago we were in the midst of planning our elopement. it was Top Secret..only my children knew what we were up to..this week we celebrate the day that changed my life for the better...

Grandfather

Who knew that just a few short years and we would have 3 grandsons and 5 dogs...from empty to abundant...that is our story..and I will share more for the next few posts...

Father

What a difference..when we first married, my daughter used to call Bryan 'Happy' as a nickname because he was so unsmiling and serious about everything...

Husband

This pretty much sums up our personalities...as you can see, I am the serious one.

Thank you for reading along with me as we enter into this memorable time for me us....

Not the right place

Sometimes we find ourselves in just the wrong place.  No amount of juggling or fixing or rationalizing will 'fix it'...it is simply the WRONG PLACE.....


One of my most favorite verses in the whole Bible talks about this....
And He made from one [common origin, one source, one blood] all nations of men to settle on the face of the earth, having definitely determined [their] allotted periods of time and the fixed boundaries of their habitation (their settlements, lands, and abodes),  Acts 17:26

This beautiful cedar tree near our ponds was in just that situation.  there was nothing wrong with the tree..in fact, the more I pondered cutting it down, the more beautiful it became...like it was trying it's best to talk me out of what I had decided to do...BUT  it had been planted in the WRONG PLACE....by the former home owners..so it was not my choice either....and it had become the perfect place for a little grandson of mine to hide behind so he could throw sticks and rocks into the pond...well, boys will be boys.  LOL  so the time had come......CUT it down...

so what does that verse have to do with anything??

I believe there is a certain place where we are to be that will be the most benefit for us and our destiny..if we are in that place, then all the things of our life kinda take care of themselves...one example is our workplace.....
..I NEVER in a million years EVER thought I would go to work in a poultry plant...YUK!!  YUK!!! YUK!!!!!

But

God had different plans than I did....it was the right place for me to be at that time...and several months later I met and married the most wonderful man imaginable....a sure benefit for being in that place that had been chosen for me to be...if I had been in a different place, there is a chance my destiny would have not been fulfilled or at least short circuited for a time.....this is just one example but I could give you many, many.....
.
As you can see, this tree is a real standout..it did nothing wrong here...but I am the Master Gardener in this garden and it is MY CHOICE whether it stays or goes.....do you hear me?  not whether it did a good job or not...????
I know the big picture for this garden and it was simply in the WRONG PLACE.  so we cut it down this weekend...there is only a stump where it use to stand..the roots are probably pretty deep so it will take a bit of digging to make it completely let go and move on...

cedar in wrong place

But the BENEFIT...here is the view that was opened up.....

only a stump

I have never been able to see this view of the ponds...it was blocked by the tree....with the tree out of the way, I am once again in love with the ponds..they are easily seen from all over the yard....I have lots of plans for freshening up this area and the FIRST thing that had to be done was to cut down the tree...

a brand new view

My hope is that you can glean a few life lessons from this tree story...there is a fixed place we are to live this life that we have been alloted....wouldn't it be absolutely wonderful if EVERYONE, or at least a good portion of the people would search for and find the place that has been chosen for them ?  and then to do whatever it takes to get there??  I think that a lot of people would be so much more content if they would do that....life would go better for them...simply ask and He will direct your paths...I did and I KNOW I live in the place that was chosen for me...the house, the town, the county, the state.....even the road I live on...  this is my place in this world..just dare to ponder and ask about this......there is no place like home...the right one, that is....this life we live is not a haphazard thing..we have a purpose and where we live is an integral part of that purpose....

Well, we now have a new view just because we removed something that was blocking it..that was not in it's proper place and it is a good thing......

thank you for reading along with me this morning....

Daddy

Last Thursday, my husband and I made a very hard trip down to Ocala to get some things from my parents home...My Mama died almost 8 yrs ago suddenly and unexpectedly and Daddy has lived alone ever since then....He has gradually decided that he could no longer keep up the house and yard by himself and started thinking about moving into a different place. I really never thought he would go into an assisted living place which is really just a glorified nursing home..kinda like calling a trailer park a mobile home community...We all know what it is...
I am a homemaker so giving up his home has caused my emotions to be so mixed and confused and empathizing and anything else you want to call it...I have been just a mess for weeks...

I learned my love of home and making a comfortable and beautiful place to live in from my parents and they learned from my Grandparents and they learned from their parents.......you get the gist.. a long line of homemakers..and gardeners...
so his giving up his home and yard has turned me into a river of tears for him...
I asked him about a month ago what he wanted to do and his reply was I just want to paint....I want help with everything else and I want to focus on my painting..
I recall that conversation over and over because where he has moved, he has no room to paint....I cannot understand how this has happened.....his art supplies and books are still at his house for the moment but they will be done away with or packed up soon for the house to go on the market..

When I walked into the house for the first time Thursday night, I was overwhelmed with grief....I cried and cried...could not get a grip on the emptiness of it. My brother and sister and ex sister in law had already pretty much emptied out the house before I got there...they had made a pile in one room for me...they chose what I was to get instead of waiting until we could all get together and go through it all.. I sat on the floor and went through what was there and cried...and cried.....and cried...
all the memories, all the life, all the opportunities for family get togethers, over..just like that. all of the pictures of us growing up had been removed...there was one picture left of me when I was a little girl....all of the family movies had been thrown away...
Bryan and I began to go through and start to pack what I was going to bring home..every time I would run across something that held a memory, mostly I would just cry..LOL
Daddy was very, very sick with a cold ..he has been battling lymphoma so his immune system is compromised and we were really concerned about him...he came over to the house anyway on Friday..I could tell he felt really bad...we talked a little about some pictures he had set aside for me...(they were already gone) he was shocked and kept saying I put it in your pile...can't believe it is gone...but that is pretty much the way things have gone for many years...
so
I told him I was fixing to dig up daylilies and he said he wanted to go with me and tell me where the best ones were....I got the shovel and off we went..he with his walker and me in my garden shoes....Bless his little heart...he parked the walker and sat down on the seat and then pointed and called out.."that one....that one too....I really love that one..get it...and here is the one you wanted..Sabie.and Ski Chalet."
Bryan was bagging them as I dug and Daddy directed....

As I look back on the couple of days, THAT is what I will always remember the most..in the garden with my Daddy for the last time....passing along daylilies. the legacy of my family...it was a sweet, sweet time between me and him..it wiped away all , well, most of, the hurtful emotions I had been experiencing..
We insisted that he go back 'home' so he could rest..and he did.
I cannot believe I did not take any pictures of our time in the garden but I was so in the moment that I didn't even think about my camera.maybe that is a good thing..I stayed present and accounted for and focused on just Daddy..the lilies are already in my garden with 2 days worth of rain on them..they will be beautiful this June...

For any of you that have had to pack up your parents home, you understand...for any of you that have this in your future, hugs to you..and grace, grace..you will need it...

these pictures are from the last times he was able to drive up to Georgia to stay with us..I will always miss that that part of life is over..
I didn't know it would be the last time
I hope you will bear with me as I pass through this season in my life of seeing my Daddy in this transition in his life...and this transiton in my life also..and be transparent about it..
I never knew how hard it would be to not have a 'home' to go home to..

I will be fine...Life will go on and it will be good...I will carry the memories with me and incorporate into my home the things from my parents home.
And I will also take a long hard look at where I am headed in life...realizing that it doesn't last forever on this earth..there will come a time when all of these things are a burden and need to be gotten rid of rather than trying to acquire more..
This ending is a new beginning..

four generations

Daddy

Daddy and Will

first great grandchild

















Simple things

some of my heritage

my Grandmother's handwriting

Sometimes, well, most of the time, it is the simple things in life that mean the most.....
I am in process of going through what I have inherited from my Daddy..all of the worldly possessions have been divided up among us three children......he doesn't have room for any of it where he is living now....
I have unpacked most of what we brought home and these few things are what have grabbed me most and probably mean the most to me....and they are probably not worth much monetarily but they are absolutely priceless to me..
..
the green bowl that I remember eating Sunday lunch from as a child at my Grandmother's always filled with salad..

the flower clippers that my Mama clipped a million flowers with..I always loved to use them as a child..now they are mine..

and a handwritten recipe book by my Grandmother...I had never seen it before I found it this weekend...such a treasure...

and something I have asked about and looked for for years..the crazy quilt that was hand stitched by my Grandmother Lewis....so awesome to be able to examine her stitches and study how she put it together..cannot wait to use all my scraps and do this ..such an inspiration...
.
So, you see, it is not the material worth of things..it is the heart behind them..the memory attached to a thing that makes it worth something to me..that makes it valuable....

I am in a land of emotion..sorting through memories, happy and sad, accepting the end of things as they were, deciding what my role is now....realizing that I am NOT in control and that it is OK....

I love my Daddy and the respect he has for me astounds me at times.....I am grateful....
thank you for reading along...many more words to write about this time of transition...

What's In An Acorn??

I thought I would take you on a little tour of our home this morning.  We have a theme going on that means a whole lot to us but it might be overlooked if you don't know the story behind it....
I inherited this light fixture from my Grandmother Lewis' house.  I carried it around in a box for 35 years and it finally found a home here at Winterpast in Winterville..it hangs over our dining room table...as you can see there is an acorn .....My Daddy was born at home under this chandelier....legacy there my friends..

I heard a sermon a while back and then again yesterday about the acorn.....Inside of every acorn there is an oak tree..and since this is a theme of our home, I thought I would think out loud about it....and that is what this is...my blog, my ideas, my opinions, and my insights given to you in hopes of helping you to live life more fully...to help you to avoid some of the mistakes I have made and to mainly share with you from the heart of an older woman...

These are my Thanksgiving dishes....they are absolutely beautiful and feature acorns around the edges of the plates...I grew up eating on china just like this..My Mama gave my brother the set of china and I longed for them and the memories of them for many years..One year Bryan said to me..find those dishes and buy you a set...WOW! so that is what I did...they even came with their own little story...I bought them from a woman that was showing her antiques at Brimfield Antique Show the very weekend that I contacted her..theses dishes were already on display but she assured me that she would pack them up and ship them the next week....In the meantime, they were displayed in her booth...Barbra Streisand came by and picked up my plates and wanted to buy them...they were already SOLD to me...so the dealer was so excited to tell me about this..  I look so forward to getting them out and using them in our family celebration of Thanksgiving....and will gladly pass them on to the next generation so the legacy can continue...and the story of the famous dishes..  :-)

Here is a little random picture....

and a gift from my daughter.....

and these little acorns were found in  a Christmas display..I bought one and the lady then gave me the rest........a little encouragement that acorns are indeed our story.

 

Our house is surrounded by HUGE oak trees...Three of them..so I am reminded any time I want to pay attention, that a mighty oak tree is contained in that little seed of an acorn ....

How many times do we overlook something as small as an acorn in our life , not realizing it can become as enormous as an oak tree?

I am starting this week off pondering...at all the tiny seeds or small beginnings that are in my life...the potential to become something great is contained in these little things that I mostly overlook...I am making a choice to be more aware..to turn aside and appreciate and think about..what is there that looks really small and insignificant but will probably grow into something as large and as significant as a full grown oak tree?

We all have our own acorns...what will we do with them?  hang them on the wall?  put them in a bowl? make a light fixture out of them?  just admire them?  or will you do as I am doing today?  plant them in good soil and watch them grow into something significant?   

PLANT YOUR ACORNS!!!

you will be glad you did..

as always, thank you for being here..and believing in me....

My legacy and Barbie

Sometimes I get a thought or a memory and I am very surprised by it.....this morning I woke up as usual and it was pretty normal...as I was drinking my coffee, the memories of Atlanta and Rich's and Henry Grady Hotel when I was a little girl started flooding my mind...hmmmm.what is this all about?? then one of the most treasured memories of all my life came back to me....The very first time I ever laid eyes on a Barbie doll display in the toy department of Rich's in Atlanta...it had to be either 1959 or 1960...I know, I know...but it was a magical moment in my life..LOL  all I had ever seen were baby dolls and I dearly loved them..well, maybe Miss Revlon doll and Madame Alexander  but that is beside the point...Barbie was DIFFERENT.....they were all lined up on top of a glass display case and I was mesmerized..!!!  hang on, I am going somewhere with this....LOL  her clothes were amazing to me..and the accessories...wow..

Here is my real Barbie and her friend Midge....I guess I wore out the blonde haired Barbie and the Ken too...I have had this one put away in a trunk for about ..well, a LONG time....she is from the 60's...

As I was pondering this morning, I decided to get down the Barbie case and look to see what was there....As I looked through all of the clothes, it hit me...this doll caused me to learn to sew....so THERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!  her case is full of clothes that I sewed for her...I don't guess I have ever thought about it like this...my daughter never cared about playing with her so she is in really good shape and the clothes are great...I have some that I bought but MANY that I sewed myself...I remember spending hundreds of hours designing and making her clothing..RIGHT THERE..that is where my love of sewing began...and I still have some of my handiwork..

Ok, so legacy...it is a stretch, isn't it????  well, here is the commonality here.....my Mama was a clothes horse..she loved fashion and she was a beautiful seamstress...I can remember her in her mink stole and dangly rhinestone earrings dabbing Chanel No.5 behind her ears..this was passed down to me or maybe sparked in me because it was there from birth...it was in her and she gave it to me..it was in me.....and Barbie brought it to the surface for me..maybe this doll was the opportunity I needed to start living out part of my legacy..that is why the first sight of this doll is etched in my memory so deeply..it wasn't about Barbie at all..it was about ME!  and the igniting of a gifting in me that is active to this day....even more so now because I have many years of experience of using this gift...

So here it is.....LEGACY.....what I will leave to future generations....part of it is my love of fabric and sewing...my daughter is a really good seamstress and my son's career is..you guessed it...FABRIC...he runs a company that laminates it...even Will has sat with me at the sewing machine and watched while we made embroidery....
Every one of us has a 'Barbie moment'...in our life....think about it...what has sparked a passion in your life?  what is your passion and what are you doing about it?  not trying to copy someone else's because that will never work..We can never be as passionate about someone else's gifting as about our own...
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Take some time and ponder....what have I always loved to do and how does that fit into the legacy of my life? 
I hope you have enjoyed remembering Barbie with me..it has been eye opening for me this morning...glad I stayed with this crazy memory until I 'got it'..thank you for reading my blog......