Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Adapt and Overcome...

I am just about at the end of my rope of being adaptable..

I see myself as a pretty flexible person but this is ridiculous...almost to the point of being like this..if I plan to do it, I can count on the reality being something different than I had planned.  I am beginning to think I need to stop planning on anything and throw in the towel......but how can I ever get organized if I don't make plans??  how can I ever make a difference if I don't follow through on SOMETHING??  ANYTHING?????
one thing I had planned to do was lose some weight and well, that has been accomplished but NOT by the way I had thought...you know eat sensibly, exercise..etc??   NO...the flu took care of those pounds and that appetite..still the thought of ice cream or chocolate turns my stomach...LOL
I had plans, people.....things to do and places to go and people to see....for goodness sake, there were some important things happening that needed my input....
I am learning one thing...it is important to take care of myself...that everything I have mentioned will wait or will be done without me..that the world keeps turning....that without my health, life really slows down a lot.....that the people that love me are more interested in ME than in what I do..
maybe this has been a forced lesson in 'BEING' rather than 'doing'....cause that is really all I have done for 2 weeks.....just BE!
As I watch my Daddy coming to the end of life as he has known it, a lot of thoughts and emotions are coming up....makes me question what am I doing here in this short lifetime I have been given..will I end well?  I want to make sure that I do...that I use up all of the life I have been alotted...done all that was possible..

BUT, at the moment I am learning about being so flexible that I don't hardly recognize the form that I am....I am being remodeled and stretched and made useful for something that I don't even know about yet....more than I could ever imagine....
so, if you don't recognize me the next time you see me, that's alright..I don't even recognize myself anymore...LOL

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