Monday, June 14, 2010

Life is what we make it......

This is what hangs over my garden gate.....Be Happy.....sometimes being happy is simply a decision that we make..everybody has troubles, everybody has hard things in life...it's our attitude that decides a lot of things about our life......Sixteen years ago my life took a turn for the very worst thing I could imagine..(at the time).....my husband walked out on me....in the blink of an eye, everything I had known for almost 25 years was GONE!..... I remember standing there after he left and looking around at all of my stuff and thinking this is useless...doesn't mean a thing.....in a completely sudden CHANGE of my life....
I don't hardly talk about my divorce anymore...I am healed pretty much of the trauma of it and it feels like I am on the other side of it..having gone through..I didn't get stuck or sit down in the middle of it or decide to just settle.....I fought to get through it....I did not want this to be what defined me for the rest of my life but it absolutely changed me..I came through it a different woman...it softened me...I was humiliated and broken and hit my rock bottom.... but enough is enough.....when my retinas became bruised form all the crying and I had to go through tests to see what was wrong, I decided that day..NO MORE....I am going to stop this and accept what I cannot change.....I started to look toward the future..couldn't see very far. :-) I gave my then husband the freedom to do what he wanted to do...to leave....and I didn't try to hold on to him anymore...and I forgave him or rather I started to forgive him....and continued until it was done.....It was the most horrible time in my life....it could have devastated me...but I chose to let it transform me...like a butterfly coming out of a coccoon. I started through my divorce as that wormy caterpillar and came out the other side as free as a butterfly......I met my husband to be the very week after my divorce was final...another long story....
I want to be like this oak tree...ONE year ago 1/3 of this tree was destroyed in the snowstorm of 2009...the entire left side fell to the ground....we heated our house for months with the wood from that tree....Today, looking at that tree, it looks whole and complete...perfectly proportioned...a stately oak.....a tree of righteousness as the Bible says......if you look closely, you can see the scar where the limb broke but from a distance, there is no ugly thing..the pruning made a prettier tree but in the midst of it, it was pretty awful......
Sunflowers remind me of the hope in my life....things changed and just like they go from a bud to an open flower, I have done that...My life is so very different than if I had not gone through a divorce...I was miserable in a dead marriage.....now I am alive and happy but it took a lot of struggle to get through the process.......
This oak tree is on the side of our house..it spreads from the street to the barn behind our house.....I am reminded when I look at these trees at how massive the root system is to support a tree of this size...It is the hidden things in our life that make us strong...that hold up the things that are seen...we need to be deep not shallow....and to be content when the roots of our life are being pruned and deepened and made to go way beneath the ground so we can support a great big life....giftings without character don't amount to much of lasting value....when my character traits were being molded and broken and molded some more, I learned to yield and not fight against it..
I want to be an oak tree.....Divorce is painful but the outcome for all involved can be a new lease on life if we just yield...
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