Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Wanderings

Do you ever just let your mind wander?  I do...sometimes even when I don't want it to..  LOL
   this is going to be a blog about those wanderings and maybe it will get somewhere..maybe not....
                            Last night as I was looking at jewelry in a store window, a saying jumped out at me that was on a little plaque...'our journey begins at home'  I had seen this saying before but last night it seemed more meaningful for some reason...the first calling on my life is homemaker so this is really something for me to think about.....
                          I watched a Hallmark movie Sunday night about the founders of AA......my parents were the founders of the AA chapter in my little southern hometown....made me really think about the passion and commitment that it took for them to do that and the humility......NOW I get it...they were true pioneers there...                                                also a person I know that I have sensed that needed a deep touch of inner healing just spontaneously revealed the reason behind the hurt that I have seen...made me sad that instead of being healed there is just over the top loudness and running from the pain..I am all about loud but this is different....                                                            A book I read in the 70's has been coming to mind lately too...the title mainly....Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?       the book greatly impacted my life...I might just need to reread it.  :-)     that is the main thing I have been thinking about lately...MY STORY....what is my story?  why am I afraid of telling it?   what will I say?   who am I really?   I consider myself a transparent person and usually I am easy to open up to someone...but I have suffered what I consider more than my share of rejection over the last few years.....from divorce to misunderstandings to a really difficult relationship with an ex spouse and child custody issues to friendship changes......a lot of things making me doubt who I am and what I am all about.....so, I am going to try to start telling my story more....first, I need to ponder who I am at this point in life..what has changed and what has grown into something different and what has gone away.....I know it is all working together to make me better....I am at peace and I am happy and I have worked hard to get to this place in life..it was not all handed to me on a silver platter..but I have a friend that sticks closer than a brother and He has seen me through....
It's just my mind that is wandering lately not my life.....I think I know the direction where I am headed but this is just a check up...   :-)  

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